Tag Archives: birthday

Sep30

Fabulously 40!

Posted on by
Standard

HI!!

So turning 40 has been thus far the best birthday I have had in many years.  I have never been one to make a fuss over my birthday and I get embarrassed when people fuss over me.  This year I put an end to that, I embraced the love I received from friends that have become family.  I also realized that with this change of attitude towards my birthday when someone didn’t show up they were not meant to be there.  Life has a way of having the ones that need to be present to arrive with open arms and I received them with such gratitude & love.  It started with having a first date with the sweetest guy on my birthday eve and he made sure he was the first to wish me happy birthday in person, he is a great kisser.  I haven’t had someone just hold me in their arms and wish me happy birthday since I was married in my 20’s.  I hadn’t realized how much I had missed that 1st birthday kiss and hug.

When I reflected on that moment later that morning, I remembered how my ex-husband Luis would always wake me at midnight on my birthday and give me the biggest kiss and hold me in his arms until I feel asleep again.  He was a loving and tender man and dealt with my stubbornness like a champ.  He would always call me his PIA(pain in the ass) than laugh it off and say he wouldn’t have it any other way.  We started out life together young and grew up very quickly together, he was 18 and I was 19.  When our daughter was born I thought to myself, “how did we end up here so quickly” but I fell into the role as mom the moment I saw her beautiful face.  I had sent Luis off that morning to work telling him I was fine just a bit uncomfortable because of the weather and I wasn’t due for another 9 days.  Well 15 minutes after he left the contractions kicked in and there was no way to reach him since he was on the subway.  My brother was staying with us so I woke him up told him, ” let’s go I’m in labor”.  He jumped out of bed and off we went to the hospital.  By the time I had arrived to the hospital and given birth Luis had just arrived to work.  My brother ran out the room once he kissed his niece and told her he loved her to call Luis.  When he arrived to the hospital he came running into the room, kissed my forehead and was off to see our daughter in the nursery.  I was in more pain post delivery than when I was in labor.  We didn’t know what we were having, we wanted to look forward to our blessing with faith that the baby would just be perfect.  We didn’t care either way just a healthy baby.  It was one of the best days of my life, she was due on my birthday but she decided that she wanted to be here to sing or should I say coo, “happy birthday” to her mommy.  I remember looking at him adoringly as he held her with such care and kissing her fingers and toes over and over again.

The moments that will always bring a happy tear to your eye and in my heart I knew Luis was the one who sent me that sweet man to wish me happy birthday as gently as he would.  He was a great man and loved me in a way I had never known, I miss my best friend dearly but I know he watches over me with his daughter by his side in heaven.  So I embrace the twists and turns my forties will bring me and know that this ride will only get better with time.  Smile because those are the little things in life which brings beauty to another.

 

Sep17

My Angel’s Birthday! <3

Posted on by
Standard
My Angel’s Birthday! <3

HAPPY 19TH  BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL IN HEAVEN SOLI!

It has been 17 years since I was blessed to spend a birthday with you.  The circumstances weren’t ideal but I still had you with me.  I still remember that day as if it was just the other day.  You were on your first round of chemotherapy for Ewing Sarcoma and a bit cranky but excited because it was your birthday.

Your favorite RN Elena had brought you a big birthday breakfast and gifts.   She spoiled you so much but who didn’t.  You had charisma that no one could resist, of course this sounds bias because I’m your mom but I would love to just sit back and watch you just pull people in with your charm and amazing smile(I swear you were an old soul).  So back to your 2nd birthday so many years ago.  We were in “your room” 719 at Montefiore Medical Center in NYC and it was a beautiful morning much like today but warmer.  Elena had brought you scrambled eggs, chicken strips and French fries topped with plenty of ketchup(I know it wasn’t the ideal breakfast but I wasn’t going to argue since she wanted to eat.  The chemo was depleting her appetite more and more each day).  Your huge smile and infectious laugh when you saw her with your breakfast and gifts still rings in my ears today.  She laughed so hard when she heard you that Svetlana(Pediatric Day LPN) came running in to see what all the commotion was about.  Even she started to laugh when she realized what was going on.  She sang happy birthday to you along with the silly dance that she always did for you while she took your vitals and we laughed even more.  You opened up your gifts and gave Elena the biggest hug.  She held you so close and whispered that she wishes for you to have the best birthday ever.  It was the beginning of a birthday filled with laughs and plenty of birthday wishes for you.  I was so happy the day had started so well considering that it could turn at any point as the chemo kept pumping into your little body.  You had been responding well so far with no side effects but yet it was only day 3.  The phone calls starting coming in and you laughed at everyone who sang you happy birthday on the phone.  It was your day to be a birthday princess and you deserved it.  You were facing this challenge with a warriors stance and I didn’t know what else to do but be your rock and a loving mom.  When daddy called you streaked and laughed so hard that the ladies at the reception desk heard you and laughed. They all knew it was Sonia’s day.  The ladies were so wonderful with you at all times but made sure it was a special day for you.  Christine from the playroom stopped in and walked you over to the playroom to spend some time with 3 other children that were also receiving chemo and they all sang you happy birthday.  Who would have thought that such a stressful situation could still be such a wonderful birthday by 11 am.  I remember standing there with their moms and we all just knew how precious that moment was.  It is an understanding that only a parent who is going through the same pain understands.  No one wants to watch their child with an illness that can go either way and you have no control over the outcome.  Yes, we do our best to make the choices we need towards the best treatment and procedures but its heart wrenching  nonetheless.  When you just don’t know how much time you have with your child, will they go into remission, will they pass because of this horrible disease, how much will they suffer and through it all you can’t make it just go away.

Later that afternoon you had a full house of guests in a tiny hospital room.  In that small room you had at least 10 people in there at any given moment.  Then daddy showed up with your birthday cake and all the nurses and family sang happy birthday once again.  You smiled so much that day, the smile that would forever be etched in my mind.  You had more gifts than Toy R Us and put a smile on so many somber faces.  You always had a way of doing that.  You were ahead of your time my love.  May you dance in heaven with your daddy and laugh with your Grandmas.  I know they will all make sure its a grand event.  Until we meet again.

Happy Birthday my Angel!! You are the best thing that ever happened to me!  I am honored and grateful to be your mom!

Love you always!!